ADHD Burnout in Adults: Signs NJ Professionals Shouldn’t Ignore

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It’s common for adults with ADHD to appear successful on the outside. But that’s the thing; it’s often a veneer of meeting deadlines, performing in demanding roles, and managing families, finances and responsibilities. Under the surface, they might experience a slow burnout or breakdown in silence.

This experience is often described as ADHD burnout. That’s not a formal medical diagnosis, but a term used to denote the patterns of emotional exhaustion, cognitive overload, and declining resilience that shows up in many adults with ADHD.

Adults experiencing ADHD burnout often describe:

  • Feeling mentally exhausted despite appearing functional
  • Needing far more effort than peers to meet the same demands
  • Losing resilience to stress, interruptions, or emotional pressure

If you’re experiencing some of these phenomena, it’s understandable to wonder whether it’s ADHD burnout or just stress. The research out there suggests the difference is the persistent neurological load, not temporary, situational pressure.

Recognizing ADHD burnout early helps the adults experiencing it realize it’s not a personal failure. Instead, it’s a predictable response to consistent, long-term neurological strain.

What Does ADHD Burnout Look Like in Adults?

ADHD burnout in adults is a state of ongoing mental and emotional exhaustion caused by prolonged effort to manage ADHD symptoms without enough support. Common burnout symptoms in ADHD-diagnosed adults include emotional dysregulation, shutdowns, low stress tolerance, and worsening executive dysfunction. Unlike normal work stress, ADHD-related exhaustion often persists despite rest. Thus, it reflects chronic neurological overload, not temporary fatigue.

What ADHD Burnout Means for Adults Managing ADHD Every Day

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition more commonly associated with children. But, its rarely outgrown and thus often persists into adulthood. The National Institutes of Health states adults with ADHD have issues with regulating attention, organization, time management, emotional control, and impulse regulation. If they’ve had these issues since childhood, they’re likely gotten pretty good at masking these symptoms.

Doing that requires adults with ADHD burnout to monitor themselves constantly. That takes tons and tons of mental energy. Even basic tasks like staying focused, regulating emotions, managing deadlines, and appearing organized take that much more effort. But, the people around them don’t see that extra effort.

Research on adult ADHD shows that managing executive function deficits places a higher cognitive load on the brain. Expending that extra energy every day without support or recovery is what leads to ADHD burnout.

Why High-Functioning Professionals With ADHD Are Prone to Burnout

High-performing adults with ADHD are often at increased risk for burnout precisely because they appear to be coping well.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), adults with ADHD tend to have lower stress tolerance and more intense emotional reactions under pressure. Professional environments that demand sustained attention, rapid task switching, and emotional restraint create the perfect storm for burning out.

A qualitative study published in BMC Psychiatry found that working adults with ADHD report significantly higher levels of stress, fatigue, and work-related mental illness than their peers who don’t have ADHD. Many participants described feeling worn down by years of compensating, masking symptoms, and pushing through exhaustion.

The pressure to keep functioning without visible struggle speeds up ADHD burnout in adults. Especially in competitive environments and job markets like those in New Jersey.

Common Burnout Symptoms ADHD Adults Experience

Adults often ask whether what they are experiencing could be ADHD burnout rather than “normal stress.” Adults often notice the following burnout symptoms in ADHD:

  • Persistent emotional exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest
  • Avoidance of emails, decisions, or routine responsibilities
  • Increased irritability or emotional sensitivity
  • Difficulty starting or finishing tasks despite urgency
  • A sense of being mentally stuck or overwhelmed

Many of these signs appear gradually. Thus, they’re easily dismissed until they pile up and cause functioning to decline.

Emotional Exhaustion and Low Stress Tolerance

One of the earliest signs is persistent mental fatigue. Adults may wake up already feeling drained, with little emotional buffer for stress.

According to NIMH, adults with ADHD are more likely to experience irritability, frustration, and difficulty regulating emotions, particularly under sustained stress. Research published in BMC Psychiatry highlights emotional dysregulation as a key driver of work-related exhaustion in adults with ADHD.

Many adults confuse this emotional fatigue with oversensitivity. That’s not the case. In reality, it’s their nervous system operating at or beyond its natural capacity.

Mental Shutdowns, Avoidance, and Withdrawal as ADHD Burnout Signs

When the burnout spreads, the hyperactivity commonly associated with ADHD gives way to avoidance.

Emails are left unread. Decisions feel overwhelming. Tasks that once felt manageable now feel impossibly heavy.

A qualitative study on the lived experiences of adults with ADHD found that many describe shutdowns as a response to prolonged overwhelm. Withdrawal becomes a way to limit further cognitive and emotional demand with an overloaded brain.

How ADHD Burnout Worsens Executive Dysfunction Over Time

Burnout symptoms ADHD professionals frequently report include:

  • Difficulty starting tasks
  • Trouble prioritizing responsibilities
  • Increased procrastination despite urgency
  • Feeling mentally “stuck”

This pattern is often described as executive dysfunction exhaustion, where:

  1. Sustained cognitive effort drains working memory
  2. Starting tasks becomes more and more difficult
  3. The brain relies on urgency and stress to function
  4. Recovery takes longer, even after time off

Research on executive function deficits shows that chronic overload worsens planning, working memory, and task initiation challenges. That’s why the ADHD burnout adults feel makes them less capable over time, despite the fact they’re working harder than ever.

ADHD Burnout vs Job Stress: Why Rest Alone Doesn’t Fix It

Most people (understandably) confuse ADHD burnout with typical job stress. The symptoms appear similar, sure, but there’s important distinctions between the two.

Normal work stress tends to improve with time off, lighter workloads, or a change in environment. ADHD burnout often does not.

Occupational research published in BMC Psychiatry shows that adults with ADHD experience higher levels of fatigue, stress, and sickness absence. Even when they have similar job roles and responsibilities as their coworkers without ADHD.

Key differences include:

  • ADHD burnout often persists during vacations
  • Tasks feel mentally heavy rather than just tiring
  • Emotional regulation worsens instead of stabilizing
  • Rest alone does not restore functioning

These patterns suggest neurological strain, not situational overload.

Why ADHD Burnout in Adults Is Commonly Misdiagnosed as Anxiety or Depression

Many adults experiencing ADHD burnout spend years believing they are anxious, depressed, or “bad at handling stress.”

According to NIMH, stress, anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders can all mimic ADHD symptoms. Thus, clinicians might focus too much on these mood symptoms without an ADHD-informed evaluation. When that happens, they won’t be able to treat the root causes.

Studies on adult ADHD diagnosis show that many individuals are misdiagnosed or diagnosed late because they internalize their symptoms. High-functioning adults often appear competent until the sustained pressure breaks their coping mechanisms.

The Long-Term Consequences of Ignoring ADHD Burnout in Adults

Ignoring the burnout symptoms ADHD adults experience can have lasting consequences.

Research consistently links unmanaged ADHD to:

  • Increased emotional dysregulation
  • Declining work performance despite strong skills
  • Strained relationships at work and home
  • Higher risk of anxiety, depression, and other comorbid conditions

According to findings published in BMC Psychiatry, adults with ADHD also experience higher rates of job instability and prolonged sickness absence when they don’t deal with their chronic stress and exhaustion.

How Awareness and ADHD-Specific Support Reduce Burnout Risk

If there’s one thing any adult experiencing ADHD burnout should take away from this, it’s that burnout is not a character flaw.

According to both the NIH and NIMH, adult ADHD is highly manageable when properly identified and supported. Knowing they have ADHD empowers adults to stop blaming themselves. From there, they can implement strategies for improving executive function, emotional regulation, and stress tolerance.

Research on executive functioning shows that when supports align with how the ADHD brain works, cognitive load decreases and resilience improves.

ADHD Burnout in Adults: Key Takeaways (Quick Summary)

ADHD burnout in adults is a form of chronic mental and emotional exhaustion driven by prolonged self-regulation and executive function strain.

Adults experiencing ADHD burnout often notice:

  • Persistent fatigue that does not resolve with rest
  • Emotional dysregulation and low stress tolerance
  • Shutdowns, avoidance, or withdrawal rather than hyperactivity
  • Worsening executive dysfunction and task initiation difficulty
  • Misdiagnosis as anxiety, depression, or “normal burnout”

Key distinctions:

  • ADHD burnout is rooted in neurological load, not motivation
  • Rest alone is often insufficient for recovery
  • Awareness and ADHD-specific support significantly reduce long-term impact

Recognizing ADHD Burnout in Adults Is the First Step Toward Sustainable Functioning

The ADHD burnout adults experience is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is a predictable outcome of long-term cognitive and emotional overexertion without adequate support.

For adults who feel constantly overwhelmed despite success, recognizing ADHD burnout can be the first step toward clarity, self-compassion, and more sustainable functioning.

Resources

Ginapp CM, Macdonald-Gagnon G, Angarita GA, Bold KW and Potenza MN (2022) The lived experiences of adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A rapid review of qualitative evidence. Front. Psychiatry 13:949321. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2022.949321

National Institute of Mental Health – Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: What You Need to Know

NIH MedLinePlus – ADHD Across the Lifespan: What it Looks Like in Adults

Oscarsson, M., Nelson, M., Rozental, A. et al. Stress and work-related mental illness among working adults with ADHD: a qualitative study. BMC Psychiatry 22, 751 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-022-04409-w

Yaara Turjeman-Levi, Guy Itzchakov, Batya Engel-Yeger. Executive function deficits mediate the relationship between employees’ ADHD and job burnout[J]. AIMS Public Health, 2024, 11(1): 294-314. doi: 10.3934/publichealth.2024015

ADHD Brain Development: What NY/NJ Parents Need to Know

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The brain’s a mystifying organ; attracting people far and wide hoping to unlock its secrets. But when it’s affected by ADHD, it can cause daily struggles with attention, big emotions, or impulsive behavior. Many parents don’t realize the bond between these issues and brain maturation in ADHD for NY/NJ kids. They’re asking numerous questions every day.

Answering those questions requires understanding that ADHD isn’t a lack of motivation or effort, but a different timeline of brain development. ADHD affects regions responsible for planning, emotional control, working memory, and impulse regulation. These abilities develop over time, and the pace at which they develop is different for children with ADHD.

The parts of the brain responsible for focus, planning, and emotional regulation mature more slowly in kids with ADHD than in kids without it. This parents’ guide explains what’s happening inside the developing brain, how ADHD symptoms in children shift over time, and how NY/NJ families can support each stage of growth.

Quick Answer: What Parents Should Know

  • The ADHD brain follows a normal development sequence but reaches key milestones about 2–3 years later.
  • Delays impact attention, planning, emotional regulation, and impulse control.
  • Many challenges improve as the ADHD brain development NY/NJ children experience continues into adolescence.
  • This parents’ guide recommends routines, visual tools, and early school accommodations to support development and begin supporting ADHD kids at home.

How ADHD Changes Brain Development in Kids

Understanding ADHD through a developmental lens helps families make sense of daily challenges. Many children want to do their best, but don’t have the neural maturity to match expectations. Reframing this relationship gets parents closer to the root of their difficulties.

The National Institute of Mental Health explains ADHD as a developmental condition involving structural and functional brain differences. These differences influence focus, emotional regulation, and impulse control. ADHD brain development in NY/NJ causes symptoms to shift as more of the brain comes online.

Executive functions rely on the prefrontal cortex, a region that matures over time. Because prefrontal cortex development runs slower in ADHD, tasks requiring organization or emotional control feel harder. These challenges reflect developmental timing, not ability.

Why the ADHD Brain Develops 2–3 Years Later

A major study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that children with ADHD reach peak cortical thickness around age 10.5. Children without ADHD reach that same milestone at age 7.5. Brain maturation in ADHD shows a consistent 2–3 year delay across several regions. The delay is most pronounced in areas that control attention, planning, and emotional regulation.

A National Institute of Mental Health research release confirmed this pattern. Certain prefrontal areas may lag as much as five years, explaining why behaviors appear younger than the child’s age. This lag often affects schoolwork, friendships, and frustration tolerance.

A study in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that children with ADHD frequently perform on attention and timing tasks at levels matched to younger peers. The gap ranged from one to three years. These findings align with broader research on developmental delays in ADHD among New York and New Jersey families, which often guides local evaluations.

Together, the evidence shows that ADHD brains develop the same way unaffected brains do, just at a slower pace.

ADHD Isn’t a Broken Brain — It’s a Delayed One

Parents often worry about what these delays mean long-term. Research consistently shows that ADHD-related brain growth patterns in local children follow the same sequence as typical development. The pace is slower, but the path is normal.

Prefrontal areas mature later in ADHD, which may cause children to appear younger in emotional or organizational skills. This difference explains school challenges and day-to-day frustration. Understanding the lag helps parents adjust expectations.

To understand this developmental timing more deeply, parents may benefit from the 30% developmental lag model, which breaks down why many kids function below age level in key skills.

Why the Delay Matters

  • A child may show emotional or organizational skills typical of a younger peer.
  • School demands may exceed the child’s current executive-function capacity.
  • Behaviors that look intentional may reflect skills that are still developing.

How ADHD Brain Development Appears at Every Age

Families often notice challenges changing with age. The table below summarizes patterns typical of children’s ADHD brain development in NY/NJ.

Expected Skills vs. ADHD Development

Age RangeTypical Brain TasksWhat ADHD May Look Like
3–6Early self-control and emotional growthBig reactions, impulsivity, restlessness
6–11Growing attention and early organizationLosing items, forgetting steps, emotional swings
11–14Time management and self-monitoringDisorganization and difficulty tracking work
14–18Advanced planning and problem solvingTrouble with deadlines, motivation, follow-through

These differences reflect development more than choice. As the brain matures, symptoms often shift. Parents who want help recognizing early indicators can explore common early ADHD signs in NY/NJ children.

Why Executive Function Skills Lag in Kids With ADHD

Executive-function challenges are among the most noticeable features of ADHD. These skills hinge on the prefrontal cortex, one of the last regions to fully mature. Studies show the prefrontal cortex continues developing into the mid-20s, which helps explain why teens often make big leaps in regulation.

Common Executive Function Delays

  • Task initiation
  • Organization
  • Emotional flexibility
  • Time management
  • Working memory
  • Impulse control

These issues often appear inconsistent. One day a child is on top of things. The next, they’re not. That’s just a consequence of neurodevelopment in ADHD, not defiance.

Everyday Signs Your Child’s Brain Is Still Developing

Emotional Regulation

A child may overreact to minor frustrations because calming systems in the brain are still developing. The ability to pause and recover builds slowly. Emotional intensity reflects developmental timing, not attitude.

Planning and Organization

Homework may start smoothly but quickly become overwhelming. Children may forget steps, lose materials, or miss deadlines. These patterns align with what the parents guide concept emphasizes: development, not defiance.

Impulse Control

Interrupting, grabbing items, or acting quickly often reflects immature impulse-control circuits. These circuits strengthen over time. Many teens show notable improvements as ADHD brain development NY/NJ patterns progress.

Time Awareness

Children may underestimate how long tasks will take. Time-tracking skills develop over time. Improvements usually appear during the teen years as prefrontal cortex development accelerates.

How ADHD Symptoms Improve as the Brain Grows

Families often see progress in late middle school or high school. As the prefrontal cortex strengthens, children become more consistent in emotional regulation, organization, and attention. Improvements tend to be slow, but meaningful.

Common Areas of Improvement

  • Emotional self-regulation becomes more consistent.
  • Attention span increases during schoolwork and daily routines.
  • Organization improves as planning networks strengthen.
  • Follow-through becomes easier as executive-function skills mature.
  • Independence grows with each stage of ADHD brain development NY/NJ children experience.

These changes reflect typical development rather than sudden behavioral shifts.

What Parents Can Do to Support ADHD Brain Development NY/NJ

Parents play an essential role in helping children succeed while the brain matures. These strategies align with how children learn and grow.

1. Create Predictability

Children thrive with steady routines that reduce uncertainty. Predictability lightens cognitive load and improves emotional stability. Morning and homework routines are especially helpful for supporting ADHD kids at home.

2. Use Visual Supports

Visual schedules, checklists, and color-coded tools support working memory. These tools help children complete tasks without constant verbal reminders. Visual systems are core recommendations in any parents guide. They’re also common suggestions from NY/NJ ADHD resources such as regional clinics and school support teams.

3. Break Tasks Down

Cutting tasks into bite-size pieces releases a lot of stress. Dividing homework or chores into manageable parts increases follow-through. This strategy supports independence.

4. Support Emotional Skills

Children learn emotional regulation from adults. Modeling calm responses, slow breathing, and steady tone builds internal coping skills. These behaviors become stronger over time.

5. Allow Movement

Movement helps regulate attention and emotion. Short breaks, flexible seating, and fidget tools support focus. Physical activity enhances brain development and supports ADHD symptoms in children.

6. Collaborate with Schools

NY and NJ schools offer accommodations that support executive-function delays. Extra time, reduced distractions, and organizational help bridge the developmental gap. Early communication leads to better outcomes.

7. Seek Guidance When Needed

Evaluations from local specialists clarify a child’s developmental profile. Professional insight reveals the best strategies for every brain maturation stage in NY/NJ kids.

What NY/NJ Parents Should Remember About ADHD Brain Growth

  • ADHD reflects delayed brain development, not lack of effort or ability.
  • The brain may lag 2–3 years behind in executive-function maturity.
  • Children may appear younger emotionally or organizationally than peers.
  • Many symptoms improve as developmental delays in ADHD among New York and New Jersey families lessen during adolescence.
  • Routines, visual supports, and structure help children succeed.
  • This parents guide emphasizes patience, understanding, and connection.

The Bottom Line for NY/NJ Parents Supporting ADHD Brain Development

Viewing ADHD through the lens of brain development gives parents a clearer and more compassionate understanding of their child’s challenge. When the challenge morphs into a matter of timing instead of attitude, it becomes easier to deal with. Children grow and mature at their own pace, and the brain continues developing through adolescence.

With structure, patience, and appropriate support, this parents guide helps NY/NJ families give children the tools they need to thrive as prefrontal cortex development continues. Each developmental step reflects real neurological progress, and each year brings new opportunities for growth.

Resources

Berger I, Slobodin O, Aboud M, Melamed J and Cassuto H (2013) Maturational delay in ADHD: evidence from CPT. Front. Hum. Neurosci. 7:691. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2013.00691

National Institute of Mental Health – Brain Matures a Few Years Late in ADHD, But Follows Normal Pattern

National Institute of Mental Health – Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: What You Need to Know

Shaw, K. Eckstrand, W. Sharp, J. Blumenthal, J.P. Lerch, D. Greenstein, L. Clasen, A. Evans, J. Giedd, & J.L. Rapoport, Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is characterized by a delay in cortical maturation, Proc. Natl. Acad. Sci. U.S.A. 104 (49) 19649-19654, https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0707741104 (2007).

October is ADHD Awareness Month

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What is ADHD?

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common mental disorders affecting children (8.4 percent), though it also affects many adults (2.5 percent). General or common symptoms of ADHD include: 

  • Inability to stay focused, which can lead to not paying attention
  • Hyperactivity, which means the person is moving their body too much and/or inappropriately for their setting (for example, bouncing up and down during quiet reading time in school)
  • Acting on impulse in any given moment without thought 

ADHD is most often initially identified in school-aged children because the symptoms lead to disruption in the classroom or problems performing schoolwork. ADHD is more common among boys than girls, though the cause of that factor is unknown.

No specific causes of ADHD have been identified, though some evidence suggests that genetics contribute to ADHD. In approximately 75 percent of cases, a relative of someone with ADHD also has the disorder. Other factors that may be linked to ADHD include premature birth; brain injury; or the mother smoking, drinking alcohol or experiencing extreme stress during pregnancy.

What are ADHD symptoms?

Many ADHD symptoms, such as short attention spans, sitting still for extended periods and high activity levels, are common in most younger children. In children with ADHD, though, their heightened activity level and inability to focus are much more noticeable and greater than expected for their age. Their symptoms also cause distress and problems with daily functioning, whether at home, school or with friends.

ADHD symptoms are not due to the child being defiant or hostile or unable to understand and follow instructions or complete a task.

A diagnosis is typically based on symptoms experienced during the previous six months. ADHD is diagnosed as one of three types: 

  1. Inattentive: six (or five for people >17 years old) of these symptoms occur often:
    • Has a hard time staying focused with activities or tasks, such as listening to lectures, participating in conversations or completing long reading
    • May start tasks, but does not follow through or quickly loses focus
    • Seems to not be listening when spoken to (inattentive)
    • Doesn’t pay close attention to details; makes seemingly careless mistakes in school or at work
    • Is easily distracted
    • Difficulty with organizing and managing time; may miss deadlines and turn in messy work
    • Forgets to do regular daily tasks, such as chores or errands; for older teens and adults, examples include grocery shopping, returning phone calls, going to appointments, paying bills
    • Often loses commonly needed daily items or tools, such as a cell phone, car keys, wallet, schoolbooks
    • Avoids or dislikes (more than average) anything requiring a sustained mental effort
  2. Hyperactive/impulsive type – six (or five for people >17 years) of the following symptoms occur often:
    • Always go, go, go
    • Fidgets, taps hands or feet, squirms in a seat
    • Unable to stay seated in the classroom or at work
    • Runs around or even climbs when and where it is inappropriate
    • Has difficulty waiting for their turn
    • Unable to play or do leisure activities quietly
    • Talks too much (others may not get a word in)
    • Interrupts conversations or in class; may not wait to answer before a question has been finished or is not directed at them; may finish other’s sentences
    • Intrudes into other’s activities without being invited; may even take over a task (a symptom more of older teens and adults)
    • Uses other people’s things without asking permission
  3. Combined type

How is ADHD Diagnosed?

No laboratory tests can diagnose ADHD. Diagnosis involves a medical evaluation to rule out other possible medical problems. Information is gathered from parents, teachers, the patient and possibly others. Checklists also help make a diagnosis. 

What do I do if I notice symptoms in my child?

Though teachers and school staff can provide information about resources or tools to help evaluate behavior and learning problems, they cannot diagnose ADHD or make decisions about treatment or administer medication at school without an official diagnosis. If you are noticing symptoms and/or your child’s teacher brings up behavioral issues, you should start with making an appointment with your child’s pediatrician.

Students diagnosed with ADHD that impairs their learning may qualify for special education under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act or for a Section 504 plan (for children who do not require special education) under the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. These benefits allow children with ADHD to receive instruction on study skills, behavioral modification techniques, changes to their classroom setup (for example, a yoga ball “chair” they can bounce on), alternative teaching techniques and a modified curriculum.

What should I do if I notice symptoms in myself or my adult partner?

Many adults with ADHD are unaware they have the disorder. Often, an adult partner or other close person who starts to recognize symptoms. If you recognize symptoms in either yourself or your partner, make an appointment with your primary care physician. They will be able to help begin the diagnosis process and provide you with referrals and resources. 

The diagnosis procedure is the same as for children, but with the use of adult rating scales or checklists. Adults with ADHD are typically treated with medication, psychotherapy or a combination of both. Behavioral modification strategies can also help, such as finding ways to minimize distractions and increase your daily structure and organizational skills. Involving immediate family members can also be helpful.

What can I do to raise awareness about ADHD?

The Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) organization recommends the following to raise awareness. 

  • Print out the NRC fact sheets on ADHD and share them with your friends and community.
  • Find additional resources on how you can increase awareness about ADHD and share them with others.
  • Host an event promoting ADHD Awareness Month or local resources for ADHD and mental health. You may want to partner with a local organization. During the COVID-19 pandemic, a virtual event is the safest choice.
  • Use your social media platforms to help dispel myths about ADHD and provide facts and other helpful information.
  • Speak out. Whether commenting on a social media post, having a conversation with family or friends, volunteering at your child’s school, contacting your local news media, or even your elected officials—use your voice to foster positive education and change. Let everyone know what it is like to live with ADHD and refer them to evidence-based information they can use to help spread awareness. 

Awareness is education. The more you educate others, the more benefit you promote to those living with ADHD, especially for those who are unaware they or their child might have the disorder.

ADHD is a serious health condition that can create much adversity in a person’s life. With identification, proper treatment and support, they can be successful and have fulfilling lives. The ADHD, Mood & Behavior Center is always available to help you, whether providing resources or telepsychiatry visits with an online psychiatrist or online therapist. Contact us with questions and concerns or to make an appointment.

How to Talk to Your Child About Suicide

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Recent celebrity suicides have shed more media light on the issue of depression and suicide. Any time someone commits suicide, family, friends and acquaintances are left in shock and sadness. There is often an overwhelming question of why and why didn’t we know? These questions are also followed by feelings of guilt and regret for not having known how badly a loved one was suffering.

It can be a difficult and awkward topic for parents to discuss with their children, however it’s important to be direct and as honest as possible when speaking to children about depression and thoughts of self-harm.

Be direct and provide age appropriate information. Provide an explanation of mental illness that makes sense for your child’s age, maturity and level of understanding. For example, for a younger child you may say that ‘people’s thoughts and feeling are controlled by their brain and sometimes their brain gets sick the same way a body can get sick. When someone’s brain gets very sick, it sometimes makes them want to stop their body from working. For an adolescent or teenager, you may use more direct language.

Encourage your child to ask questions. Providing the opportunity to have a conversation about mental health opens the doors to further conversations and it also normalizes discussion about mental health in general. While it may be uncomfortable, try to remain present and listen to your child as much as possible. Practice reflective listening and ask open ended questions such as, ‘How do you feel about what happened?’ ‘What are your thoughts about what happened?’ ‘What questions do you have?’

Talk about the signs and symptoms of depression. If your child is a young adolescent or teenager, it’s a good opportunity to talk about how anxiety and depression affect someone’s behavior. This is the age where kids start sharing less with their parents and more with their peer group, so give your child helpful information so that if they or a friend is feeling depressed, they know what to do.

Finally, emphasize the importance of maintaining good mental health. Just as going to the gym regularly can help keep your body healthy, talking to a licensed therapist or counselor helps keep our minds healthy. Encourage your child to speak and use outlets for their feelings. Let them know who the counselor is in their school, discuss the value of therapy. Consider making an appointment for your child with a therapist if you have any concerns that they may be depressed or anxious.

*If you or your child is feeling suicidal, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. *

Summer Social Skills Group Starting on Saturdays at 9am

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We are excited to start offering a social skills group for children in grades 1-3 starting Saturday June 23 at 9am. This group will be run by Olga DaSilva, LCSW and will focus on different aspects of social skills including the stages of friendship, social problem solving, conflict resolution, communication skills and more.

Please call the front desk at (973) 605-5000 to secure a spot or with any questions.

Brand new patients will be required to do an intake session before beginning group.

Group rates are $65 per session.

What to Do if Your Child is Being Bullied

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It can be very difficult as a parent to watch your child come home from school in tears, withdrawn, or moody only to find out that they are being teased or bullied at school.  Here are some key tips to support your child and help resolve the situation as effectively as possible.

  1. Listen to your child without judgement. Allow your child to tell you the full story in their own words without interruptions and minimal reactions.  It is already difficult for a child to recount what has happened so they may minimize what happened if they feel you are getting upset.  Use open ended questions and phrases such as:  tell more about that, how so?
  2. Find out the facts. When appropriate make sure you get the  who, what, when, and where of what occurred so that you can record it and let your child’s teacher know. Keep a record of an future incidents.
  3. Problem solve. Engage in problem solving with your child so that they know how to self-advocate if the situation occurs again.  Come up with several strategies (including finding a safe teacher or administrator that your child can go to) with whom your child feels comfortable.  Practice using the strategies with role play.
  4. Reach out. Talk to your child’s teacher as soon as possible.  Keep in mind that teachers don’t always and can’t always know when bullying occurs.  Kids are smart and know when to tease/make cruel remarks when the teacher is occupied or out of earshot.
  5. Ask for a copy of your school district’s bullying policy. This will send the message that you know how to advocate for your child. Also, every school should make this available to parents upon request by law.
  6. Take your concerns up the chain of command. If the problem persists, meet with your child’s school principal and ask for documentation of how the problem will be resolved.  Familiarize yourself with the state law and pursue that the school do a full investigation and document a case of HIB (Harrassment, Intimidation, or Bullying) if you feel like you are not getting results.

Find out more here:

http://www.nj.gov/education/students/safety/behavior/hib/ParentGuide.pdf

 

http://www.stompoutbullying.org/information-and-resources/parents-page/what-do-if-your-child-being-bullied-and-resources/

 

  1. Watch for signs of serious stress, anxiety or depression.  Having your child talk to a professional can be particularly helpful especially if you see emotional or behavioral signs of stress such as social withdrawal, sleep issues, changes in appetite, or mood swings.

The Video Game Dilemma and the ADHD Child

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Do you sometimes wonder if your child is addicted to video games?  Is getting off or ending video game sessions often the cause of fights or meltdowns for your child?

In an increasingly digital world, children are spending more time in front of screens and parents are left  to negotiate the muddy waters of figuring out how much screen time/video game time is healthy for their child.  This can be particularly difficult for a child with ADHD as video games lend themselves to being ‘time sucks’ and can often distort a child’s temporal awareness.  Here are some tips for setting and maintaining healthy boundaries for video games and screen time.

  1. Communicate clearly with your child about the amount of screen time that is allowed

During a calm period of the day, sit down with your child and discuss your concerns about screen time and present your concerns.  Make sure to listen to your child and reflect their concerns.

  1. Consider the time of day when you agree to schedule gaming/screen time.

Scheduling screen time right before homework or bedtime can be a recipe for disaster especially for children who have very difficult moments detaching.  Try to involve your child in problem solving and ask for ideas of when you can best schedule screen time so that it is not disruptive when it must come to an end.  Be flexible.

  1. Always monitor and preview content before your child views it.

Some games and videos can have violence or sexual content that may be inappropriate or overwhelming for your child.  Always check the suggested ages and consider watching the video game first before you purchase or rent it for your child.

  1. Consider what your child is getting out of screen time.

Playing a video game or watching a youtube video may provide much needed zone out time for the ADHD brain.  Make sure to expose your child to a range of other activities that may also provide relaxation and self-soothing feelings such as yoga, meditation, music lessons etc.

  1. Practice what you preach.

Modeling is one of the most powerful tools of influence that parents possess.  Practice your own healthy boundaries with your cell phone and screen time.  Schedule regular family media -free times or zones, such as meal times, bedtime or family outings.

  1. Use Screen time to build on your child’s strengths

Not all screen time is unhealthy. There are amazing tools available that can help support learning.   Research some great new learning sites or games that support your child’s reading or math and spend some time with your child exploring their interest in art or science by checking out online museums.  Speak to your child’s teacher or the school librarian for recommendations.

 

 

How to Talk to Your Child About School Shootings

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Sadly school shootings have become normative in our culture and parents are faced with the question of how and when to talk to their kids about being safe in school. Here are a few tips and resources to help parents navigate these discussions:
1. Keep discussions age appropriate. Younger children need more reassurance and less specific information. They may have questions about active shooter drills or why there was a school walkout. Keep information short and age appropriate and reassure your child that adults are always taking measures to keep students safe. Older kids and teenagers will want to talk more and may want to get more involved in advocacy efforts. Make sure to make time to talk and practice reflective listening. Echo back their concerns and ideas.
2. Limit exposure to the news. News tends to refresh and replay the same upsetting images and soundbytes. Exposure to these stories via television or on the radio can be upsetting and confusing for children. Also, keep an eye out for newsfeeds that come up as ads or pop-ups on social media. Your child may be watching news footage unbeknownst to you.
3. Pay attention. Know the signs of stress or anxiety in your child. Pay attention to changes in behavior such as excessive worry, nightmares or sleep disruptions. Consider reaching out to a qualified child mental health professional if you see any of these symptoms for an extended period.
4. Stay on top of what is happening locally. Follow and attend school board meetings, talk to your child’s school principal or administrator. In the wake of the latest shooting at Parkland, many school districts have made changes to their safety policy. Share this information with your child as well as with other caregivers so that they can be prepared for changes in school visitation or pickup policies.
5. Stay connected. Encouraging regular communication with your child is the best way to know what’s going on in your child’s school . Consider scheduling a regular time to meet with your child to discuss any concerns they may have. Creating an environment of open communication will beget open communication.

Resources for parents:

Check out this recent piece which was featured in Time magazine by Dr. Ross Greene:
https://www.livesinthebalance.org/Nineteen-years-tragedy

ADHD: Myths vs. Reality

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Attention difficulties commonly occur in children and adults for various reasons. Sometimes they can be related to mood issues, motivational issues, environmental challenges or physical health issues. But, when there are significant and persistent difficulties, with a combination of inattention, overactivity, impulsivity, and distractibility that impairs functioning or development in multiple settings, this can be attributed to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in children and/or adults.

Of children aged 4-17 years of age in the United States, 5.1 million or 8.8%, have a current diagnosis of ADHD, with boys (12.1%) more than twice as likely as girls (5.5%) to have ADHD. Approximately half of children with ADHD continue to have symptoms into adulthood, or 4.4% of adults overall.

The exact cause of the disorder is unknown but research shows that areas of the brain are affected and there is a family/genetic connection. The impact of the disorder includes lower academic performance, increased risk of injury, increased risk of traffic accidents, increased likelihood of smoking, poorer social function and lower self esteem. Treatment can reduce the symptoms of ADHD, but it does not completely eliminate the impact of these complications.

When it comes to ADHD, it’s important to separate the myths vs. the facts. Here are some important considerations to keep in mind when thinking about an evaluation, diagnosis and treatment.

Myth


Fact


“ADHD isn’t a real disorder”

  • It is a recognized medical condition
  • ADD = ADHD
  • Exact cause unknown
    • Multiple factors have been implicated in the development of ADHD – family history/genetics, certain environmental factors, problems with the central nervous system /an imbalance of chemical messengers, or neurotransmitters, within the brain.
  • Research has shown that certain brain regions don’t synchronize properly and overall brain architecture is different.

“ADHD is overdiagnosed”

  • Studies show that ADHD is underdiagnosed in minority populations
  • Awareness of the disorder has been growing since the 1990s when it became recognized under special education law as a condition that affects learning.

“ADHD only occurs in childhood”

  • The symptoms of ADHD can occur as early as the preschool years. The intensity of the behaviors and how they are affecting a preschooler’s life, development, self-esteem, and general functioning is considered.
  • Some children with ADHD continue to have symptoms during their teen years and about 50 out of 100 have symptoms into adulthood.
  • Symptoms in adults look different.
  • Hyperactivity tends to diminish
  • Inattentive symptoms become more troublesome
  • Sense of “inner restlessness”

“Children outgrow ADHD”

  • ADHD is a lifelong condition
  • Some children do outgrow their symptoms
  • Most children carry the disorder into adolescence and adulthood
  • Symptoms change as a child gets older and learns ways to manage them

“My child is just lazy or dumb or unmotivated”

  • ADHD has nothing to do with a person’s intellectual ability.
  • A child who finds it nearly impossible to stay focused in class, or to complete a lengthy task may try to “save face” by acting as though he/she does not want to do it or is too lazy to finish.
  • This behavior stems from real difficulty in functioning and possible frustration.
  • They simply work differently.

“My child is a handful or is a daydreamer – but that’s normal”

  • There are variations of “normal”
  • How much behaviors consistently impede a child and their ability to succeed at school, fit into family routines, follow household rules, maintain friendships, interact positively with family members, avoid injury or otherwise manage in his/her environment should be considered

“My child focuses on video games for hours. He/she cannot have ADHD”

  • ADHD poses problems with tasks that require focused attention over long periods of time, not so much for activities that are highly engaging or stimulating
  • Less or unstructured time can be difficult to manage
  • Social situations can also be problematic due to the constant, subtle exchange of social and emotional information

“ADHD is caused by poor parental discipline”

  • ADHD is not caused by bad parenting.
  • Parenting techniques can affect symptoms.
  • Try to stay positive
  • Establish structure and stick to it
  • Set clear expectations and rules
  • Encourage healthy lifestyles – eating, exercise, sleep
  • Teach how to make friends
  • Learn to anticipate potentially explosive situations
  • Be a good role model

“If after an evaluation, a child does not receive the ADHD diagnosis, he/she doesn’t need help”

  • ADHD is diagnosed on a continuum
  • A child may not always show symptoms of ADHD, especially in an unfamiliar setting
  • Monitoring symptoms and behaviors in multiple settings is critical
  • Counseling, home management tools, school behavior management recommendations, social skills interventions, and help with managing homework flow, organization and planning can be helpful

“All you need are medications to treat ADHD”

  • Medications often curb symptoms
    • They help children focus and be less hyperactive
  • Typically a combination of treatments are the most effective way to treat ADHD
    • Behavioral therapy
    • Notes/reminders to prevent self from forgetting tasks
    • Academic help

“Medicine for ADHD will make a person seem drugged”

  • Properly adjusted medicine for ADHD sharpens a person’s focus and increases his or her ability to control behavior
  • Sedation or personality changes are not side effects of the medication

“ADHD stimulant medication leads to addiction”

  • No evidence
  • Research has shown that people with ADHD who take medication tend to have lower rates of substance abuse than people with ADHD who don’t take the medication
  • A long-term study looked at childhood & early teen use of stimulants and early adulthood use of drugs/alcohol/nicotine in males with ADHD and showed no increase or decrease in substance use.

“Treatment for ADHD will cure it. The goal is to get off medication as soon as possible”

  • ADHD is a chronic condition that changes over time
  • Depending on the circumstances and demands as a person matures, the need for continuing medication or other treatments varies
  • TRUE GOAL = function well at stage of development in all environments

Teen Stress: On the Rise, But So Are Their Remedies

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Teenagers are experiencing stress like never before. Their stress tends to be over many things, including schoolwork, parents, relationships and friends. Often, it feels overwhelming, even paralyzing, and it can lead to isolation, withdrawal, academic decline, aggression and depression.

Perhaps our competitive and technologically advanced society is a part of the problem. The pressure applied by educators, and the message transmitted to students, as well as to their parents, that they must perform to ever rising levels of excellence in order to get into that mythical “good school” following graduation, leaves them in a state of fear, or even panic, that anything less will assure a life of failure and lost opportunity.

Today’s world of social media is another source of stress. Peer acceptance is incredibly important in the teenager’s life. To fit in is everything. But, with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other forms of social media, a teen’s personal information, reputation and social valuation can be tossed to and fro, at internet speed, by anyone with an electronic device and an opinion.

Teens are dealing with increasing responsibilities and heightened expectations, but have not learned how to cope with the stress that accompanies them. Teens learn Algebra and trigonometry, but they do not learn coping strategies. They learn Language Arts and European History, but they don’t know how to deal with their emotions or to problem solve in stressful situations.

As a result, some schools around the country are beginning to realize there is a real need for stress reduction training to be offered in the school setting. In these schools, teens are being taught various tools to help them deal better with stress. Studies show that the practice of meditation, yoga and mindfulness can be quite effective in treating stress. CBT and DBT therapies are specific forms of psychotherapy that teach the re-assessment of one’s thoughts about a stressful situation, about one’s self and one’s life, which in turn changes one’s feelings and emotional state, to that of greater calm, hope and optimism, and allows for more effective problem solving.

Our challenge is to help our teens to deal better with the stresses in their lives. Stress reduction begins with a healthy lifestyle, with adequate sleep and healthy nutrition. It also requires a balance of relaxation and fun to offset the rigors of school and social pressures. But, if they also learn some stress reduction tools that they can apply when life begins to feel a bit overwhelming, these tools will serve them well, through their teenage years and well beyond.